Themes are broken! fixed!
Apparently my WP install was compromised, mostly due to me not paying much attention here in a long time, and was serving as a DOS site. 
Sorry Dreamhost guys.
I blew pretty much everything away server side, except the DB and have upgraded to the most recent version of wordpress. I don’t have the time right now to fix the theme, but then I’m not updating this often enough that I’m sure anyone would know. 
The main theme is now fixed.